Senior Moment Sharer Pillows

"Geez, my memory is getting bad." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Handle With Care

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

"Meanwhile, in the Memory Care Unit... I said, your secret’s safe with me."

Computer Jobs

"My memory's not too good these days."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

Life begins at 60

Old Geezers Erupting Every Hour on the Hour.

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"Those speedbumps are there for a reason, Mrs. Gunderson."

'Now where did I put that cape?'

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

The Name Brain

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'