Senior Moment Sympathizer Pillows

Senior Jeopardy!

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

Old man has a walking stick case.

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

"My memory's not too good these days."

'Did someone say something?'

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

'Now where did I put that cape?'

The Name Brain

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

When Animals Grow Old...

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Geez, my memory is getting bad." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"