Senior Moment Sympathizer Gifts

Senior Jeopardy!

Handle With Care

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

'Did someone say something?'

Old man has a walking stick case.

"My memory's not too good these days."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'Now where did I put that cape?'

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

'Aha, the vitamins for seniors swaps additives for preservatives.'

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

The Name Brain

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

When Animals Grow Old...

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."