Senior Citizen Sympathizer Gifts

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

Church Basement Foodie

Handle With Care

Senior Jeopardy!

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Relax - we're retired, we don't have any teeth.'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Old Geezers Erupting Every Hour on the Hour.

"Marie, are you still driving?"

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

"If I were you I'd talk to him again later after he's had his nap."

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"The best part of my days are photobombing at the retirement homes."

"You've lost a little weight since your last physical, but you're also two inches shorter."

When Animals Grow Old...

'I've been having an affair with Tiger Woods.'