Senior Citizen Supporters Gifts

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

Church Basement Foodie

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'Relax - we're retired, we don't have any teeth.'

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

Charities Fueling Cities

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Piss Bull

'Hot dang! Ethel, check out Raymond's new twenty-twos!'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

When Animals Grow Old...

"The best part of my days are photobombing at the retirement homes."

"If I were you I'd talk to him again later after he's had his nap."

'There's a gastroenterologist in my closet.'