Senior Citizens Supporter Gifts

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

Church Basement Foodie

Handle With Care

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

'Relax - we're retired, we don't have any teeth.'

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

Adam and Eve: The Later Years.

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Charities Fueling Cities

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Piss Bull

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

When Animals Grow Old...

"If I were you I'd talk to him again later after he's had his nap."

"The best part of my days are photobombing at the retirement homes."

'There's a gastroenterologist in my closet.'

'I've been having an affair with Tiger Woods.'