Senior Supporter Gifts

Old dog with zimmer frame.

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'NEXT!'

"AARP"

'You'll have to excuse all the newspaper. My grandfather refuses to wear adult diapers.'

Old dear crossing.

'Dog alerts pedestrians to old woman in mobility cart.'

Allegations of nursing neglect.

When Animals Grow Old...

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

Senior Jeopardy!

"It's going over the top? D' you realise what you've just said?"

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"Who do you like in the super bowl?"

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

An old man plays a prank on the grim reaper

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

"They've swapped the pub for staying in and taking their meds."

". . . and wipe your feet before you go inside."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

A senior moment.

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

David Blaine, Age 60

"Our house must be haunted. When I look in the mirror an old geezer-goat stands in front of me so I can't see myself."

'I still have all my own teeth.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Football addict

Old man with zimmer frame waters tree being supported by a walking stick.

'I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?'