Senior Support Gifts

"Did you remember my mints?"

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

Handle With Care

Senior Partner works at a desk, sign on wall behind her says 'Ms. Davis senior partner - formerly: 'Hey You'.

'I'm not saying your mother is senile but she just vacuum bagged the cat!'

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

'When you look at me do you see a woman or a senior partner?'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"We want to include you in this decision without letting you affect it."

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

Road rage on a mobility scooter.

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

"Nice try, but I don't think whisky counts as an 'essential medication'."

Introducing Life Alarm for people who have fallen but don't want to get up.

Pensioner's Romance

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"America's Funniest Colonoscopy Videos."

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

'I've been offered early retirement but my wife won't let me take it.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

woman works at a desk with a sign on the wall behind her: Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly Hey You.

Pension in race with tortoise and snail.

'Oh no! We forgot to unstrap granny before we left!'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'I feel just like a newborn baby. . . Yes, no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'

"We're convinced you'll make a lousy senior partner, but you beat everybody else in the brownnosing department."

Ms. Davis Senior Partner - Formerly: Hey You.