Senior Citizen Admirer Gifts

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I you want to know the age of my nan, just count the rings."

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

"Sure I'm depressed - now they got me on this geriatric dog food."

Old Frogs' Home

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Statue fishing.

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

'I still have all my own teeth.'

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

"He may have a royal flush. He may have a pair of twos. It's impossible to tell since he had Botox."

Pensioners - Old ink Pens at the park sitting and walking

'Let's go upstairs and make love. I can't do both.'

Benefactor of children

Things You Say When You Are Officially Old - Volume # 2

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Watch out for Harold Smedly...He has wandering long-reach pick up tools!..'

Toxic Relationship

"You look amazing Dad. Has Mrs Arnold been ironing your face again?"

Feel good.

Tomb of the Unknown Electrician.

"I have to keep a lot of handwritten notes. Every mental note I make is in invisible ink."

'There's a gastroenterologist in my closet.'

Clark Gable

"In retrospect, maybe I shouldn't have called you 'Flash'. It just seems sarcastic now."

'Some of these are not birth marks...they're age spots.'

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

The day Young MacDonald officially Became Old MacDonald

"I'm only attracted to older women."

Remote, Distant, Aloof.

'The worst thing about getting old is having to your childrens' advice.'

Happy Birthday.