Senior Moments Gifts

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

Cats on Board.

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Senior Jeopardy!

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"Larry is seventy with occasional gusts to eighty-five."

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"You're not goin' anywhere, Roy. You buried your own nuts again."

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Computer Jobs

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

"My memory's not too good these days."

Woman says, 'How did your memory improvement class go last night?' Man answers, 'I completely forgot about it!'

Life begins at 60

"Marie, are you still driving?"

"Those speedbumps are there for a reason, Mrs. Gunderson."

At the Old Bikers' Home

"Look at that adorable mother and baby! I haven't changed a diaper in years."

'Now where did I put that cape?'

The Name Brain

'Mine does the same...a loud involuntary groan every time he sits or gets up.'

Why can't you just buy some extra memory like everybody else?

Old Lady Playing Video Game Knitting

These retirement do's aren't as wild as I remember!

'Mumsie, Billy called me a snob... can I sue him?'

"Geez, my memory is getting bad." "How bad is it?" "How bad is what?"

'. . . before we rob the bank, let's synchronise our pacemakers!

'You get the feeling we're getting too familiar?'

"It's mostly my medications and adjustable mattress."

'I remember my pin, but I've forgotten my name!'