Senior Sympathizer Pillows

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Senior Jeopardy!

'You seem quieter tonight. Did they give you something to help you relax?'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Here, try this."

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

"Marie, are you still driving?"

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'Your mother has finally found a home she wants us to put her in...ours.'

"They have been in a terrible mood these days. You know how painful it is when they start developing legs."

"This test wasn't fair! No way it's an accurate measure of what I know!"

'He's our new Geriatric specialist!'

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

When Animals Grow Old...

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

"Brian says in 1976 we just got on with it."

'You'll have to excuse all the newspaper. My grandfather refuses to wear adult diapers.'

"Look, honey! All your lost eye glasses have mysteriously migrated to this drawer, and now they're plotting their next escape."

Old dog with zimmer frame.

Age Cards.

'There it is again...that mysterious feeling that we're clipped from a newspaper and hung on someone's refrigerator.'

Allegations of nursing neglect.

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

'Dog alerts pedestrians to old woman in mobility cart.'

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

'NEXT!'