Retirement Life Aficionado Gifts

'Wot next ? ---one out of the 'SMOKING SHORTENS YOUR LIFE' packet or shall we give 'SMOKING KILLS' a go ?'

Ed's receding hairline!

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Old Frogs' Home

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Last night of freedom.

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Ken and Barbie, corrected for age and anatomy.

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

Old Dog's Home

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

Rational explanations

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

'If you're such a great estate planner, why aren't you retired?'

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"With the Jeter 2000, you'll never have to say goodbye."

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'