Retirement Readiness Enthusiast Gifts

Social Security is unable to support the weight of America's baby boomers.

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"I'm telling you, those are not abs!"

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

Waiting for retirement.

"Oooh, I know what I want to be when I grow up: Retired!"

"Honestly, John, I'm not angry! I was going to suggest you give up driving even before you hit my car in the parking lot!"

'You keep outliving your old-age retirement savings!'

Best Places to Retire

'Do you have one with the number 401k? under the law averages, it's bound to be winner.'

"You never actually own a pension pot - you merely look after it for the next government."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

'Gen-Xers in their retirement years.'

"We've made $7.50. Can we retire yet?"

Greetings from VARICOSE VILLAGE, a Florida golfing community featuring a shopping mall, restaurants and hospitals.

"I've thought about retiring, but there's a great deal of gravity under this chair."

'I have the result of your cost-benefit analysis. You should have retired four years ago.'

Saving for Retirement.

"I just learned that my golden parachute was not properly packed."

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"And this financial plan is specifically designed for people who know their retirement -- IF they get one -- won't be half as good as their parents' retirement, and are really steamed about it!"

'I'm retiring, to spend more time with my family of mutual find investments,'

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

My Mother Was Absolutely Certain She Would Not Succumb to Alzheimer's. She Was Wrong.

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'