Retirement Enthusiasts Gifts

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

I'm Retired, And Your Not!

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

'In my time, we didn't talk to a blackberry. We just ate the damn things!'

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

"Grandma's TV is so old it wasn't made in a foreign country."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

Ken and Barbie, corrected for age and anatomy.

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

'We decided to get out and spend the kids inheritance. Unfortunately they insisted on coming with us!'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

Old Dog's Home

'SALE! One Million Dollars Per Bike!!' by saying, 'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"Don't let the Leave It To Beaver lunchbox fool you...that new manager is TOUGH!"

Department of Work and No Pension

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

Bob retired from the cloning lab, and now he doesn't know what to do with himself.

"Retirement will be a pipe dream for many of us...we need to explore new careers for later life."

"The 'Age of the Computer'? We get a pencil on a piece of string!"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

Neptune: the retirement years.

A sunny afternoon at the old politician's home.

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

'...You're retired, I'm retired.'

'I like modern. It never goes out of style.'