Retirement Adventurer Gifts

"At this stage of your life, you need a hobby - one that will produce income."

Darby and Joan Club with empty mountain bike rack

"Carl made retirement plans with his money, but not with his time."

'I'm afraid I'm in for some dull retirement years.'

"Are you finally going to admit that you've run out of things to do now that you're retired?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"One year closer to college!"

Pina Coladas

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

Tourist

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

Altar Ego

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Don't kid yourself. Harold, you're no spring chicken!"

Women