Retired Adventurer Gifts

'Is that all you can do Just sitting there watching your old movies'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"One year closer to college!"

Pina Coladas

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Inside One's Memory Bank

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'Unfortunately, there's no cure. It's called growing older.'

Duel in a wheelchair.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'Raping and pillaging, Seniors' Tour, 898AD.'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"It seems like only yesterday I was on the verge of getting it all together."

Women

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

'We decided to get out and spend the kids inheritance. Unfortunately they insisted on coming with us!'

"I'm at the age where work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work."

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

Floating Dragon

Castaway with a tennis court.

Secrets of Adulthood.

'True, I was all for your taking up a hobby on retirement, but, TIGHTROPE-WALKING...!'

"You look good for your age."

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Period Of Transition

"I think she's the new nurse. She's been here ever since I can remember."

"He's auditioning for a part in 'Conan The Octagenarian'."

"I have to go to school, then get a job, and then pay for my own stuff. Life is so unfair!"

"Instant? In my day they used to make it from scratch."