Retirement Ready Gifts

"But I can't take early retirement - I haven't paid off my student loan yet."

Retirement and healthcare.

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(k), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

'Forget it, sonny. My power of attorney is all sorted out.'

Bomers and Bummer

"Okay, but what about other sources of income for your retirement?"

"We have employer mismatch contribution to retirement plans."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Good game."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Lady of the Cake.

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

'Not that net!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

Woman uses a remote control to turn on the sunset.

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"Feel free to take notes."

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Help! I'm ROFL and ICGU!

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?