Retirement Life Aficionado Pillows

'Wot next ? ---one out of the 'SMOKING SHORTENS YOUR LIFE' packet or shall we give 'SMOKING KILLS' a go ?'

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Retired Canadian t shirt guy.

"Don't knock Florida! Where else can a 73-year old man get a 35-year mortgage?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Last night of freedom.

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

'Whether I work in the public or private sector, save my retirement benefits.'

I'm retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

"There's a worry that if we impose rules on hedge funds they may leave the UK..."

Rational explanations

'If you want to learn more about our retirement plan, pick up some brochures at your local Social Security office.'

'Shady Acres Nursing Home - Stockbroker on duty in case social security is privatized.'

'If you're such a great estate planner, why aren't you retired?'

I'm Retired...I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today.

"With the Jeter 2000, you'll never have to say goodbye."

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'