Ageless Admirer Gifts

"Not only do you look marvelous but all of you looks the same age."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Teddy Roosevelt

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

The men of your dreams

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

Antiques

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

Mangle

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Memorials of The Great Exhibition - 1851. No. X. - A delicate attention.

Mannequin protest

Interior Un-Decorator: We Help You Downsize!

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

'Well, it WAS worth nine thousand dollars. Sorry about that.'

"Now here's where she gets the military secrets."

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'

"That's just the meds kicking in."

The days before television

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

'This is the jewel in my collection. My invisible man figurine!'

'I'd like to buy a frame that adds youth to a portrait.'

"Special today: Reclining chair with one used husband."

'Find yellow snow? I invented it.'

Time Smoking a Picture.

Martin Folkes Esq.

'Wow! An old penny!'