Humor In Aging Admirer Gifts

"Some day, son, all these aches and pains will be yours."

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

UK border controls relaxed.

Ancient Racing

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Why bother?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

How about going easy on the carbs

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Hi - I'm your company perk !'

Czarcasm

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

Dolphin friendly tuna

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

On the brink.

Cow's straw

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

"Doctor - at home I get this nagging pain... what do you recommend?"

"A haand gel...!?"

Gym Dog

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"Frankly, I never would've figured you for an S.U.V. person."

Hot cross buns

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

"Life is too short! Why should I waste my time frantically searching for a mate when I can create art instead..."

Pea