Age Warrior Gifts

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

"You can't see a grief counselor just because you got a 'B'."

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

"I didn't know you could do worse than an F. When did they start handing out poop emojis?"

A "Park and Walk" near New York City.

"Sure I know what it adds up to. It adds up to another 'C' for Eddie Goldbeck."

"Why did we get a Cheetah? They need so much walking."

"Now we're really in trouble!!! It's the Power Walking Dead!!!"

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"Tomorrow, we'll take on the tobacco industry."

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

Psychotic mood swing.

'I've reached that age where I've given up on Mind Over Matter and am concentrating on Mind Over Bladder.'

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'I asked my doc for a diet plan and it works great - thanks to his usurious bills, I can't afford a car or taxis and that's why I'm losing weight by walking!'

Dorothy and the singles bar

''C-minus'? †Do you know how long it took me to find and download this term paper?'

GOP: 'I didn't come to Washington to champion the midle class! There's no money in that!'

'Once upon a time there were some me with big sticks, and these men, they said to everyone else...'

'...and it's up to each candidate to select what he or she thinks is the least incorrect answer.'

'You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading.'

'I'm taking the kid for a walk, he's overweight!'

"I'm just saying B's are okay."

'- See you when we land, Simkins. I'm travelling First Class and I booked you economy, of course...'

Pass It Down Economics...

'The teacher gave me a 'B' for coloring outside the lines. At this rate, I'll never get into Harvard!'