Age Awareness Warrior Gifts

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Opium Den 2019

Man spots a grey hair in his beard

'He's getting old.'

'If he's forgotten my birthday again, he can cook his own supper!'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

"Body milk is rubbish! Not only does it taste awful in my coffee but I still have my wrinkles!"

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

'That's right, buddy. Keep moving after the young ones. We've had enough of this ‘weeding out the old and sick' business.'

Minnesota Rises

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."

'I'm not sure what's worse: Not having health care, or being so far gone I don't care.'