Aging Awareness Promoter Gifts

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

"The cape comes off too."

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Bubbling

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Your problem is...er...a 'male thing'.

Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

Sewer Rats

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Guy, is that you?'

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

U.S. Bread Basket.