Aging Awareness Promoter Gifts

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Bubbling

Number of Overdoses in U.S. Continues to Incease

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Your problem is...er...a 'male thing'.

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

'I'm thinking of having a gastric band fitted to my cigarettes.'

Sewer Rats

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Guy, is that you?'

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

U.S. Bread Basket.