Ageism Awareness Advocate Gifts

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

'He insists on seeing a senior partner - No 'whippersnappers',

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"Get off the lawn!"

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Old Age Depression

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

Before I Knew My Mom Had Alzheimer's, Her Weirdness Drove Me Crazy

'He's getting old.'