Ageism Activist Gifts

'Methuselah never stops complaining - it's been 'age discrimination' since he was 600.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'You're deliberately putting yourself at risk of ill health by being over 65...'

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

"Get off the lawn!"

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"My client, age 87, will claim age discrimination if he's not allowed to play."

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

"You end up with the face you can afford."

"You can grow old gracefully. I'm fighting it every inch of the way!"

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

'Gerald likes to keep his mind active with a spot of cyber bullying.'