Awareness Warrior Gifts

Minnesota Rises

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

National Everything Awareness Day

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Fight or Flight

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

That party went well.

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Flu vaccine.

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

Spoiler alert: most of my presentation is actually a series of trigger warnings.

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

'You have a fauxbia.'

Studying and technology

Censorship.

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

Bring your problems to work day.

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

"You must try to relax more"

'All this knowledge going into my head, through my eyes and out the window to float forever in space.'