Age Awareness Warrior Pillows

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Ageism at work'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

"Botox? No, I simply stopped smiling when I turned 30."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Old Age Depression

Opium Den 2019

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

Man spots a grey hair in his beard

'If he's forgotten my birthday again, he can cook his own supper!'

Before I Knew My Mom Had Alzheimer's, Her Weirdness Drove Me Crazy

When did my internal clock go external?

'He's getting old.'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

"Body milk is rubbish! Not only does it taste awful in my coffee but I still have my wrinkles!"

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"

'That's right, buddy. Keep moving after the young ones. We've had enough of this ‘weeding out the old and sick' business.'

Minnesota Rises

'I'm not sure what's worse: Not having health care, or being so far gone I don't care.'