Aging Awareness Enthusiast Pillows

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Have you heard? There's talk about raising the retirement age to 170?"

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Aging Problems

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

My philosophy ... If you can't beat 'em, outlive 'em.

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

"Day 19,918: Once again, Gary cannot believe he's still alive."

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."