Ageing Awareness Advocate Pillows

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Sewer Rats

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

Angry pensioner

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Disease is inevitable. My advice is to find an illness you can live with...'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

"Get off the lawn!"

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

"My Alzheimers doctor. What can I do?"

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

'He's getting old.'

"But do you feel invisible?"