Aging Awareness Pillows

'What Burl just said was to sit down 'cause he's not ready to take you to the store yet, Ma!!'

'We're at that age when you feel invisible...'

'He's getting old.'

'Forget the rest, THIS is your future!'

Death taps freezing pensioner on shoulder.

"Ma'am...you're all set."

"If I were a dog I'd only be 11."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

When her hex on ageing failed, Grizelda opted for the mobility - broom.

Mirror mirror...

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

A senior moment.

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

'Of course I'll love you when you 'go grey'... Why shouldn't I... I've loved you through six other shades!'

'I wish I had more hair.' 'Don't be a silly billy. You've got plenty of hair. Here's your bald, I mean your boiled, egg.'

An extremely general practitioner

'You know you're getting older when the old 'fire in your belly' is actually acid reflux.