Anti-aging Warrior Pillows

"Body milk is rubbish! Not only does it taste awful in my coffee but I still have my wrinkles!"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

Hot dog.

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

"Hello, police? I'd like to report a suspicious black man!"

You People

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Get off the lawn!"

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

Age Concern and Pension concerns.

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.