Anti-aging Crusader Pillows

"How'd you get rid of all your wrinkles?"

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

My secret of living to 103? I stay active throwing out junk mail and alert dueling with telephone sales people!

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"I can Botox it, but I don’t want to freeze up my sixth chakra."

The Tammany Ring Defeated- NY Mayor Oakey Hall as 'The Last Thorn of Summer'

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'

'Voila!! No more wrinkles!!'

The world's most successful beauty blogger...

Old age is crueller than you think kid!"

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'My doctor told me these new Botox injections could be harmful.'

'The law requires me to tell you that we don't discriminate, gramps.'

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'When I gave you, a 77-year-old man, a medication to reverse the aging process, I should have limited the time you should take it'!

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

"I'm old. What's good for that?"

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Get off the lawn!"

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

Office Smoking Conflict

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.