Anti-aging Advocate Pillows

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.

"Ideally, I'd like a reboot to 'Factory Settings'."

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

"You can grow old gracefully. I'm fighting it every inch of the way!"

"You end up with the face you can afford."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

"Get off the lawn!"

"He spent his entire life trying to discover a way to stop aging. How ironic that he would only realize his dream now."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Eileen's fear of aging follows wherever she goes.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"Eternally youthful complexion? Here's the deal. Never go out in the sun. Never eat dessert. And, for God's sake, don't smile."

Pre-Old Blues

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

'Of course she hasn't aged a bit. She's married to a plastic surgeon!'

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

'I'm still hot. It just comes in flashes now.'

"I come from the future."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'Tell the doctor to hurry. It's an emergency. I just turned middle aged!'

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

"Well, Dr. Garcia said he's doing all he can, but he can't make me any younger. But I don't care about getting younger. I just want to keep getting older."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

A senior moment.

'We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?'