Anti-ageism Advocate Pillows

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Get off the lawn!"

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."