Anti-ageism Advocate Pillows

'I'm not worried about ageism - I'm just keeping it real'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

'Sorry I can't pay your pension until I see gray hair. . . Oh yes, and you also get disability.'

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

'Accelerate! Coffin Dodgers Crossing.'

"Get off the lawn!"

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

Sorry the dementia statistics are not ready, they keep losing count.'

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.