Anti-aging Advocates Pillows

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

"Get off the lawn!"

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

Gullible prunes.

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Youth Cream, look younger in minutes.