Anti-aging Advocates Pillows

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

'Ageism at work'

Don't call me old...I prefer 'chronologically challenged'.

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

Say hello to Myrna Dinsdale. Myrna finally had one face-lift too many.

'No wrinkles or botox for me: I naturally change my skin every so often...'

Eventually, a point is reached where even the best cosmetic surgery begins to look more like taxidermy gone horribly wrong.

After decades of research, Prof. Lorenzen finally found a way to stop ageing.

'You look younger...are you colouring your hair?'

'I'm tellin' you, Maurice, you should try it. I feel younger, more confident and just yesterday I caught a coupla gibbons checkin' me out.'

Smart drugs. 'Gee, duh, I don't know. Does it look like we have any in stock?'

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"Get off the lawn!"

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

Look younger in minutes - 100% Guaranteed!

'The truth is there is no 'Youth Formula' worth millions. This is Mountain Dew.'

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

Gullible prunes.

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

'Why can't you grow old gracefully?'

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."