Age Advocates Pillows

"You have a great resume... experience... education... history... but there is one thing we'd like to see that you don't have..." "A birth certificate issued sometime around 1975."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

"I'm the lot of baggage he comes with."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

Sir Isaac Newton Sucks!

Potts is having a job keeping up with the young turks.

'Of course you're a failure! Look at you - seventy-two and you've never had a mid-life crisis!'

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

"We’re still a relatively young company compared to this lady I found in the lobby."

How to save money on geriatric care?

'Ageism at work'

'He steals from the drug companies and gives to the elderly!'

'He's a lot older than she is.'

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"I appreciate you want to keep an eye on me, but is that really necessary?"

'Behold,a cross section of our workforce: the energy of youth mixed with the wisdom of years.'

Just to see the expression on their faces, store clerk Rodney Clatch liked to offer senior discounts to 40-something women.

"I'm sorry, but at your age I really can't give you any credit...why don't you put your denture under the pillow and see if the tooth fairy can help you!"

Geriatrics struggle with a personnel shortage.

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"Working with the elderly requires significant capital investment....ramps, high raise chairs, alarms."

"You will grow old and wrinkled, and moan about the weather."

"Make my face sag - I want people to think I've never had plastic surgery."

Alzheimer's and the Vicious Circle of Slow Death

The New Ager

When job hunting, your age will get in the way - but only if you place it centre stage.

"I assure you that you don't have Alzheimer's because you paid my fee last week."

'The boss wants me to retire...The company doesn't want you when you're old and useless.' 'They prefer people who are young and useless.'

"My client, age 87, will claim age discrimination if he's not allowed to play."

"You're over 50. While we appreciate your past contributions, we need to put them behind us and move on."

"Relax, I've been specializing in gerontology for over six months."

When prunes lose the plot: they advertise anti wrinkle cream.

'Whoohoo, you've got the job! Just sign this little contract clause. It says that when you're too old to fit our company's young, healthy and fancy image, you agree to get put down.'

'I'm at that awkward age. Not as young as I say I am, and not as old as I feel.'

"I said I USED TO BE A BABY BOOMER!"