Anti-wrinkle Warrior Gifts

Male grooming.

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

To do before Saturday...

"I told him he should have trained more."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

Mod Kwan Doh

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

Valleyview diet clinic

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Cosmetics. Helps get rid of crow's feet.

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

A diuretic! Are you sure about this?

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

Shrink

Hot dog.

"Ready to head back?"

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

Botox sharpei

I'm calling for back-up

The real reason salad aids weight loss

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

Woman and scales.

'No, it's not a special on the Grand Canyon. It's an actor's face in high definition.'

Life on Earth - My soul is thin.

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'