Weight Loss Warrior Gifts

'It's called hipposuction.'

Weight Loss Clinic with a very wide 'in' door and a very narrow 'out' door

'It's the most effective appetite suppressant available,'

'Hundreds of years of medical progress, and all you can tell me to do is eat less?'

Wheat Watchers

"Ready to head back?"

"Doctor, there is a correlation between violence and the low-fat diet. Right now, I'd kill for a doughnut!"

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

Running to lose weight,

'I'm thinking of going for a run - am I wearing my running shoes?'

Woman in Restaurant has Menu and Calorie Counter.

'I have to lose some weight...Every time I want to rest on my laurels I find I need wider laurels.'

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

'I've decided to get serious about losing weight. I moved the refrigerator out of my bedroom.'

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

Middle Management Training.

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

'I've put my days of overeating behind me - now I'm here to work it off.'

'Obesity is a big problem on our planet, so take us to Richard Simmons.'

'It's radical but it just might work!'

'I lost twelve pounds.'

'Four thousand packets of the new anti-obesity drug, please'

'I'm on two diets at the moment. Just one isn't enough...'

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

'I go to the gym to lose the weight, but it keeps finding me.'

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Before and After diet photos.

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just found more fat friends?'

"It's great that you lost weight, but you don't pay less taxes because there's less of you."

A large woman smiles, as she notices that a slimming club's exit door is only half as wide as the entrance door.

Dieting Options: Non-fat, low-fat, stretch pants.

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

'Helen, you've lost weight!'

Lost & Found. That's the story of my dieting attempts in a nutshell.