Weight Warrior Gifts

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

Two weighing machines, one speaks your weight and the other lies about it.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

"The nurse says I'm morbidly obese. . . so what are you going to do about it!"

"I appreciate your desire for a new photo ID following your significant weight loss, but our policy to decline your request is based on the sad reality that you're probably going to gain it all back."

After standing on the scales Claire decided to stamp on the diet book.

"I expect those extra pounds are the huge weight of this diet book."

Woman is shocked at seeing her weight, she doesn't realise that her dog is also on the scales.

Weight and Fortune.

'This will a short meeting on the company's ‘Lose Weight' campaign. Ed can't hold his belly in for more than 9 minutes.'

'My physician advised me to walk a mile after every meal I have... But I'm afraid I won't be able to walk 11 miles a day...'

'Holding in your stomach won't help, sir.'

'What we have here is a hostage situation - There's a thin person inside you screaming to get out.'

The doc says I don't have a choice. I absolutely must stick with a diet and lose weight. You're too big to fail!

'Take two of these weight loss tablets before every meal. Your stomach won't have room for food.'

'Are you sure this is only the 100kg?'

'We've got your cholesterol, Dominic!'

Obesity Clinic.

'Maybe we should think about losing some weight!'

"I'm taking you off two of the four food groups."

Diet dishes.

'....Ahem, Ms. Caldwell, I'd like to have a few words with you.'

Woman strips on a public scale in order to get a lower reading.

It's difficult holding onto any gains I make in my financial portfolio and seemingly impossible to lose any gains here.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"This feels like an accomplishment."

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles