Weight Gain Warrior Gifts

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

To do before Saturday...

"We're exclusively delts."

Bench Press Accident

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Valleyview diet clinic

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

Dieting Motivation.

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'