Weight Gain Warrior Pillows

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

To do before Saturday...

"We're exclusively delts."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Biceps, muscles and brawn

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'And finally, there is the universal solution.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I have a huge house, millions in the bank, and a twenty year old wife. But am I happy?..."

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'Since we all have to believe in something, I thought, 'Why not money?''

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Dieting Motivation.

Valleyview diet clinic

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Woman weighing herself while holding balloons

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I've found the blockage it looks like your gastric band!'

"All those years of dodging taxes and chasing investment yield have kept me in top shape, right?"