Weight Management Warrior Pillows

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

'I've been retaining water lately.'

'I think my gastric band's too tight.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

Weight Watchers

'You need to go on a crash diet!'. 'They don't work for me-- I tried one yesterday.'

Honest weight and the not so honest weight.

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

"I think you've got a bad case of 'yo-yo dieting.'"

Slim Shadow

"The budget wouldn't stretch to a gastric band."

"And that's where you'll stay until you apologise!"

Genie.

Diet Tip No. 14325: Take Time to enjoy your food

I'm retaining air.

"Would you like to supersize that?"

'I'm prescribing magnets for your weight-loss program. They'll keep this on your refrigerator door.'

Lady substitutes picture on scale for herself...

The gastric bands seem to be working

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"We're exclusively delts."

To do before Saturday...

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I haven't lost any weight after two weeks of dieting, but my hair's getting thinner."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Dieting Motivation.