Weight Wellness Warrior Pillows

'We ran out of Gastric Band,so I've put in a Brass Band.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

'Well, well, well...'

"Your contents have shifted."

Be Healthy

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

To do before Saturday...

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"We're exclusively delts."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Couples Massage: "Did you remember the body oil?"

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

"I told him he should have trained more."

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'