Age Appreciation Aficionado Gifts

Wine: New! Old!

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

Breast Height Chart

Diego Velasquez

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

Old Tortoise

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."