Age Appreciation Aficionado Gifts

Wine: New! Old!

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Breast Height Chart

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

Ed's receding hairline!

Diego Velasquez

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

Old Tortoise

"Can you suggest something that will enhance my hairstyle?"

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'