Aging Amusement Aficionado Gifts

Men-O-Pause Emergency Kit, contents include an inflatable trophy wife, bottle of Boca-Raw-Tan and a convincing hairpiece

"Why bother?"

Fist Bumper Cars

Ed's receding hairline!

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

The end of innocence

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

How the bones got into the Le Brea Tar Pits

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'Old black and white movies can be SO romantic.'

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

How to injury yourself as an adult

"Isn't Jim Carrey getting too old to make Jim Carrey movies?"

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

Vintage Bumper Cars.

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'