Driver's License Humorist Gifts

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

"I need to tinkle."

Bob's Driving School.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

No Hand Signals

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Speed Checked By Radar.

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'I've been glamped!'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

Out of Bumper Stickers.

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.