Driving Humorist Gifts

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

Caution: Armed Student Driver

This lane reserved for average persons only.

Car with 'www.howsmydriving.com' on the bumper

My other car has a funnier bumper sticker.

I'm in for a motoring offence-I taught the missus to drive.'

An officer on a motorcycle with 'Student Cop' sign chases a car with a 'Student Driver' sign.

'Have you ever noticed how none of the air controllers cars are parked straight?'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

'Okay, which ones are the bad guys?'

'M'lud, I was only obeying orders.'

"Okay...when the light turns red, you stop. When the light turns green, you go."

Road rage

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

CLEAR!

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

'Beware of SUV.'

"Don't you ever run off again to get your oil changed without telling me."

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Ducks crossing.

No Hand Signals

Lucky car.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

"It's a hybrid if you think it is. Runs on gas and the power of positive thinking."

Speed Checked By Radar.

"..and I've recently had it converted to LGP"

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'