Driving Humor Aficionado Gifts

'If you don't like the way I drive, get off my pavement.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

Ducks crossing.

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

No U-turns

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

Comedy Club. Open Mic Nite. A car doing comedy? It it's like mine, it'll make funny noises!

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

Honk honk here, honk honk there, everywhere a honk honk

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

"Watch out Stan, we've got a tail-gater."

'I'm giving you a ticket for driving too slow.'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

"Could be just a coincidence, but that whining noise seems to stop when your husband gets out of the car."

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

'Turning Left' lights on front of car.

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

Humpty Dumpty's car.

Caution: Armed Student Driver

Need for oil?