Driving Humor Lover Gifts

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

'I found what was making those funny noises.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

I break for toilet paper

Kick-line Deer Crossing. A kick-line of deer cross the road Radio City Rockettes style.

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

Ducks crossing.

'It took us 12 years to genetically engineer him. We are going to make millions!'

Driving a Lemon.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Speed Checked By Radar.

Traffic sign: Right lane ends - Merge into oncoming traffic.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

Motorway lane for 'Pricks and idiots only'.

'I've been glamped!'

My car is running great, but the GPS is busted. You can go nowhere fast!

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'To hell with high gas prices!'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

"Let me call you back. They're toeing my car."

Fly driving a car with little humans on the windscreen.

'Sir, you would not believe the airbag.'