Driving Humor Aficionados Gifts

'Go straight down,try to miss the lamp post,mount the kerb,shudder to a halt and...'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'And here's the toolkit.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"This one contains our tailgating deterrent feature."

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

"I've just had my panel 5 beaten...."

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Parking? I don't think so.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

"Could we try parking again please, Mr. Zog?"

'Installing 6 foot spikes to stop cars from tailgating me.'

'When you get your permit, you get to sit over here in the driver's seat.'

'Hey -- Watch it with the tailgating'

Man driving in tree to wife: 'I think we're lost.'

The Latest in Airbags

'I'm not a bad driver, they're bad pedestrians.'

'When do I learn to elude the cops?'

Car rot. I thought you would like to know! Carrot. Do you want a punch in the knows?!

Right lane ends 500 feet. . .Cheer up - it begins again 3 miles.

"Back so soon?"

"Say, aren't we a bit too old to drive a car?"

Woman Driving a Lemon.

Let's stop at the next exit. We may need an antacid, if I read the sign correctly."

How's my Reaction Time? Call 1-800-OLDTIMER.

'My car has been acting funny.'

Chief, call you back. Something's come up.

"Flashed again....Anyone would think I was on full beam!"

This lane reserved for average persons only.

Get You Home Tow Truck.

Earvin is having second thoughts about getting a cellular pay-phone.

The old man and the forest